Just sittin here enjoying one of my last SPARKS hangovers ever. Used to wake up and say "hate u, SPARKS" but today I just woke up and felt sad.

Can u really believe it's happening? So distraught, ya'll. Life really won't be the same without SPARKS.

I'm worried about what's going to happen now. Will I have to drink redbull/vodka to "keep going" or "have a good time"? Is that packaged in a can? Can I buy it at the gas station? Will it turn my tongue orange?

So many questions that need to be answered, ya'll. Just tryin to figure out what's important in life.

Gvmt says: "Sparks has been the poster child for irresponsible marketing. We are pleased that MillerCoors has finally seen the error of its ways, and look forward to the demise of the entire category of caffeinated alcohol."

I say: "SPARKS has been the poster child of a life well-lived. H8 the gvmt for not 'getting it'. Caffeinated alcohol gave me so much LIFE, and now you're taking it all away. Give me SPARKS or give me death."

gotta go SPARKS vom now.